Where Did the time go?

The last time I blogged had to have been close to a year ago & I was pregnant! I set this up thinking it would be some kind of time capsule for my children. Something that could document their kid-isms/ the good, the bad, the gross? I hope to keep this going and not only contribute annually. So much has happened in the past year. Where to even begin?

I’ll start with you, Baby Clara – since you are the most recent adventure I have embarked upon. Your b-day (Dec. 16, 2015) came so fast. One second you were giving mommy heartburn and kicking my bladder in utero; the next second you were being brought into the world in a semi-emergent manner. You are so beautiful, sweet girl & You look so much like your daddy. Just be thankful your daddy is pretty too πŸ™‚ Watching you grow these past 5 months have been tiring and enthralling at the same time. Words cannot express how much my heart has grown since you entered our lives. You’ve scared us a lot already in these short 5 months. There were times in the middle of the night that you would wake up gagging, gasping, and choking – acid reflux is not very fun 😦 Daddy always gets more worried because he’s never done this before & you mean so so much to both of us. He would do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to make you happy and keep you safe. We have both been pooped & peed on. Within the first couple of weeks you spewed spit up all over your dads chest. You’ve also fallen off of our bed ! Your Daddy and I felt like the worst human beings to have walked the earth. You see, you have been lying on that same bed since you were born. You recently started doing rolling over tricks but we had no idea you were capable of doing double and triple rolls! This helps to remind us to never underestimate what you are capable of. Neither of us will ever forget that awful cry you made when you hit the floor or how much we felt the need to vomit from how concerned we were. Just so you know- you were perfectly fine and we will make sure it NEVER happens again. Mommy has been breastfeeding you since you were born (you win for the longest breastfed child of mine!) But with that comes many more times waking up in the night. It’s hard to remember parts of the first couple months now due to how delirious the lack of sleep had made me. But I will tell you this, We will Gladly take on more explosive poops, spit-ups, slobbers, or any other “issue” for you. Lately, your favorite past time is eating your toes (sucking and eating anything we will let you for that matter), blowing spit bubbles, laughing, smiling, and doing stand-up/flying baby. There truly are no words to describe how deep our love for you is, but I can tell you that it’s never ending and nothing will ever compromise it! Now what have your big brother and seester been up to lately?

Westyn – my 2nd most recent adventure – Gosh how much you have grown! James, Seester and I watched you at your Kindergarten awards ceremony this morning. You were the biggest head in the Kindergarten crowd. I’d like to think you have such a big head to hold in all those brains though! James and I laughed when they had awards for the kids in your class who got all smiley faces throughout the year. You’re not an all smiley face kind of guy and that is OK. You’ve made mistakes, you LOVE talking to your classmates/teachers/anyone who will listen, & it’s hard for you to stay focused. But, that is what makes you YOU. You’ve recently gained another sibling and you love her so much. You always want to hold her and kiss on her. There’s times you’ve tried to help calm her down by singing “babyyyy Clawwwaa” in the sweetest voice. When you can’t calm her, you resort to plugging your ears obnoxiously; but you at least try to put in the effort first! You’ve been hard to reel in lately. It makes life for mommy & James frustrating, but at the end of the day we love you tons Big guy. You say funny things – a LOT. Like when you recently said that you don’t kiss any other babies because you don’t want to make Clara jealous. That was cute. I love the way you talk too, but I understand with all the speech classes you’ve been going to that You will eventually talk “normal”. I enjoy the way your R’s sound like W’s and your TH’s sound like D’s and so on. Watching you become the little man you are turning into has truly been a joy. Now stop fighting with you sister!

Krysalyn aka Seester aka Sug Bear aka Put Put –

So — I started up writing on here again because of another Blog post that I saw. It’s here http://www.handsfreemama.com/2013/09/24/taking-away-my-daughters-smile/

Its about another mommy who is having a really hard time expressing her happiness. She is a happy mommy and she loves her kids but she has so many things she gets stressed about that it makes her look unhappy on the outside. She starts to notice that her daughter doesn’t seem happy either and she feels like part of the reason is due to her being stressed so much. The thing that made me think of you the most is that her daughter would bite on her lip until it bled because she was so worried, just like her mommy was worried. She started turning her weeds (worries) into flowers (seeing the good in things). I think this is something that could benefit us too. It’s hard sometimes to not worry and toΒ  see the flowers among all the weeds. Our life is stressful, but guess what? Every time mommy stresses out over you taking too long to get dressed in the morning or Westyn and you arguing over small things , I still love you endlessly. Lately, you’ve been crying more than normal. It worries me a lot because it seems like you are seeing too many weeds (negative things). I think you are way to hard on yourself. You are such a beautiful, smart, talented little girl! Don’t ever forget how amazing you are. There will be SO many things in your life that will try to tell you otherwise. Our society feeds off negativity and isn’t geared toward lifting up others – YOU MUST RISE ABOVE πŸ™‚ I’ll always be here to lift you too.

Clara – Keep Smiling and Blowing Bubbles

Westyn – Stay light-hearted and carefree. It’s beautiful

Krysalyn – Keep your head up baby girl!

Love you all ,






The Little Things in Life

I have been wanting to blog for a while now. As a child I loved writing in my diary and I think that many forms of the arts are becoming lost in an ever-evolving society geared toward simplicity. My daughter, Krysalyn, recently discovered my diary and watching her read through it was very fulfilling on many levels. I loved to watch her connect with my 3rd -6th grade self. She laughed at my mishaps and silliness and lately, if my 9 year old daughter is laughing then all is right in the our world. Being 9 years old is tough, guys! However, the digital world seems to conquer all now. Holding a book in your hands is no longer necessary with Kindle and e-books. Drawing a photo-realistic portrait is a tedious task when we can simply snap a shot with our digital cameras. Hashtags and abbreviations have taken over the English language making it asinine to the current generation on the rise to write in complete sentences. Society seems to be headed toward Idiocracy at an insanely fast rate and there’s very little that will slow the process. So for my sanity and in order to hold the torch for the art of the written (typed) word, I decided to start a blog. It’s what all the cool kids are doing anyway. Additionally, my boyfriend and I were recently discussing the crazy things my son says and does. At one point I said:Β  “We have to start writing this stuff down!” I can’t tell you how utterly depressing it is that I have missed out on so much of my children’s lives so far. It’s something that my ex-husband LOVES to hang over my head amongst other things to attempt to make me feel small. I know in my heart and soul that I have had little choice but to miss out — I’ve busted my @$$ trying to make ends meet since they were born; sometimes working 2-3 jobs. Every time I did something fun or for myself I felt guilt because of his words – ” you never see your kids.” With another (and possibly my last) child on the way I want to capture these life moments more frequently. I yearn to not ever forget the way my children laughed or even cried when they were young. I want this blog to hold me accountable to keeping up with their every move and how they grow throughout the years. I hope that someday they will read this too and remember how they were and how much their momma loved them. So, in the style of my friend Emily’s blog – this will be written to them…their future selves that is.

Westyn, oh son with your heart of gold. Never ever lose that “teddy bearness”. Your eyes are more open than the average adult – keep them open wide baby boy! On the contrary, Your ability to harm yourself by running into walls and falling onto/off of things would not fall into my open eyed theory. You recently fell onto yourself and broke your arm on a trampoline – 2nd broken bone in a year dude! However, you see people and things without judgment. You love NO MATTER WHAT. Your ability to bounce back whether physically or emotionally is such a beautiful part of who you are! This morning, James leaned in to smell your breath – this is a common exercise we do with you considering you have tricked us in the past with improper dental hygiene. He didn’t tell you he was checking your breath, he just leaned forward – and your reaction ? You planted a kiss on his nose. My morning wasn’t going so great considering one of my favorite television shows had been spoiled via social media. I also didn’t get much sleep because baby Clara thinks that keeping mommy up in the wee hours of the night is fun. However, when James came to tell me about your sweet reaction to a breath sniffing, I couldn’t help but laugh and smile the rest of the morning.

Krysalyn- you are such a team player. Granted, you whine and complain a LOT…but I think that comes with the territory of being 9 and a girl (no offense to us girls of course). You have such a sensitive heart and soul and I tend to forget, more often than I should, that you are indeed only 9 years old. Just because you are so smart and emotionally developed beyond your years does not mean that you deserve to be treated like an adult. Another thing – I see me in you constantly & there is not one person on this planet that I am harder on than myself. I’m sorry that you catch so much flack for my inconsistencies. I will strive to not be so hard on you. You are beautiful, little girl, and it terrifies me. When you were looking through my diary yesterday I realized that my first big boy crush was in 3rd grade — YOU are in 3rd grade. I remember when I could still cradle you in my arms and now you are dressing yourself in stylish attire and talking back to me like a teenager. I love your spirit, your fire, your passion for life and art and all things creative. I love you beyond measure and don’t ever want you to conform or change who you are to please others. BeYouTiful!

Westyn — keep kissing noses

Krysalyn – boys are gross

Love always,